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How to Conduct Yourself In Public

I see, smell and hear some crazy shit working in retail. Because of this I’ve compiled a list of rules and suggestions for going out in public. Nothing too fancy or difficult. I think everything is fairly manageable. Feel free to add to my list:

– Deodorant should be mandatory. Violators should have their faces shoved in other violators arm pits until
they learn their lessons.

– Just because it comes in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it.

– If you can tuck your boobs into your pants you should probably be wearing a bra.

– Please, for the respect and common courtesy of others, wear (clean) underwear if your pants have holes in them!

– Please brush your teeth….or Tooth. Whichever applies.

– Don’t play your music on your phone so everyone can hear it. It doesn’t make you cool. It makes you an asshole.

– If you spray spit when you speak either cover your mouth or wear a face mask. I don’t want your plague getting on my face. I feel the need to scrub my face with rubbing alcohol 9 times out of 10. Gross!

– The words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are still in use. Please, use them. Thank you.

– If you can’t control your child, leave his bad ass home. No one wants to hear him scream through the entire store. Also, no one wants to hear you scream at the child to shut up.

– My name is not ‘hey’ ‘hey you’ humm’ ‘*cough*’ ‘I need help over here’. ‘Excuse me’ will be sufficient.

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2 responses to “How to Conduct Yourself In Public

  1. This is awesome. I’m sending a link to another blogger who’d get a kick out it. Here’s his link as well:

    http://hrnightmare.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/dont-pout-youre-22/

  2. Can I add.
    lazy slob that can’t even hand the product to at SCO.

    People who like to debate that Im taking away a job at SCO even if offering to help AND they go to a carolsel express lane

    people going way out of a lane limit.

    people that can’t even montor there rather talk on a cell phone.

    could name other oh yeah people are still lazy to put a shopping cart up.

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