I swear I’m not usually a negative person but I just can’t seem to shake the depression lately! It’s really tearing me down and I hate it. I don’t know what my problem is but I know it’s eating me up. I know it’s bad because my best friend asks me the other day, ‘what’s wrong with you? You’ve changed.’. It’s not that I’ve changed, it’s just that I’m trying to deal with all this stress and keep my head above water.
I really don’t have anything wrong in my life. I’m very fortunate. I have a great job and great friends. I have a family that loves me (we may not be as close as we used to be but I still love them and I’m grateful for them all). I just keep feeling so down. I think it might me the constant feeling of deja vu that is my life. I do the same stuff day in and day out. I wake up- go to work- then come home and sleep. That’s about it. But I really shouldn’t bitch about that. I should be happy that I have a job. It’s just hard to have a life sometimes lol.
I need to get out more. I need to do things that entertain me. I need to do more things that are just for me and make me happy. I guess I don’t really know how to do that. I’ve spent most of my life making other people happy and not worrying about myself. But for the first time in my life I don’t have anyone. I don’t have anyone to take care of or worry about. At the same time I don’t have anyone who worries about me. It sucks but it is what it is. No one can pull me out of this funk but me. I need to get my head out of my ass and do something to change it.
Sorry for my pity party. I feel better now!