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My Fat Mouth

I’ve got a fat mouth. Okay, I know, that’s old news. But I’m willing to bet that most of you don’t know the extent of it’s fatness. It’s going to get me in trouble someday. It almost has in the past [ that story lower in this post ].

I think that I lack an internal filter. Whatever pops into my mind usually spews out if my mouth. Mix that with my inner asshole and you may see how this could be a problem.

Last Saturday my friends and I attended a pro wrestling show. Honestly, there wasn’t very much of it that was professional, but we still had fun. Anyway, this night, after years of me being a fat mouth, I nearly got my butt kicked. Seriously.


The first time I saw Drake Younger (pictured above) wrestle I was anything but impressed. This dude was lousy. He couldn’t wrestle and he couldn’t act. But somehow, in the eyes of the hillbillies that gather at these places, this man is a wrestling God. I just don’t see it. So, I decided I would have dome fun! I started verbally attacking him and his friends in Facebook. I don’t know why, I just thought it would entertain me. Trust me, I was not disappointed.

I started calling this man, and his fans, the most vile things I could think of. I think I even told him ‘ I hate your face and I hope you get the clap.’
Finally, after months of taunting, Younger sent me a private message. He asked me what my beef was with him. I don’t recall my response but I’m sure I told him I’d stop. I did not! I moved into overdrive.

Until Saturday. The dudes music hits and he steps out of the curtain. Immediately I knew I was in trouble. He made a bee line for me. Usually, he shakes hands with his adoring fans and plays up to their love. Not this time. Instead, he gets in my face and tries to rip me a new one. As soon as he got near me I was pissed. I don’t like people in my personal space. And this dude was all up in it. He literally got so close to me that his head touched my chin. After the anger withdrew, I started laughing. It dawned on me that I had gotten to this dude so deeply that he felt the need to retaliate. I’ll give it to him, he surprised me. But he also made that night for me. I still don’t like him but I do have a new appreciation for him. He’s stuck up for his fans and for himself.

Kevin tells me I should leave him alone and let it be. Richie tells me to keep on pressing. Either way, this dude will always dislike me. But that’s okay, I disliked him first.

I know my Facebook attack wasn’t nice. But it was all in good fun. It started out as a joke and I loved it. I’d say I’m sorry but I would be lying. I think my war with the wrestler was/is a lot of fun. I doubt he’d really try to kick my ass but I’m not gonna take any chances. If I see this dude in public i’d probably approach him and thank him for the good times. It’s really made our trips more of a good time for me.


One response to “My Fat Mouth

  1. Rich ⋅

    Don’t be a pussy, keep it going.

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