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I’m Fake

I’m fake. Everyday. I’m fake to you, but I’m mostly fake to myself. I try to fool myself to make myself believe that everything is okay and that I’m happy. In reality I am a miserable person. I try so hard to be happy and grateful for what I have but it’s so hard. I pretend I’m happy. I put on that happy face everyday and get out of bed and tackle the world. Usually the world tackles me. And pulls me down. I am at the lowest point in my life that I have ever been. I feel no joy, I’m never really happy, I just am.

Just ‘being’ isn’t enough for me. I feel like I’m drowning and I keep waiting for my lifesaver. Things have to turn around soon for me. I can’t take much more.

Depression is like a black hole. It sucks in everything around you and you can’t escape. No matter how you try it pulls you back down.

Please, don’t mind me too much, I’m just putting my thoughts into words.

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