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How?

I have a friend who recently lost a parent. I can sympathize. I really feel so deeply bad for him. This will always be one of the hardest parts of his life. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m surviving it still…..and it’s been 6 months. I still struggle, many days, just to not sit around and cry all day. I have to force myself to get out of bed and to get my day started. It would be easy to let myself shut down. I just can’t let that happen. I can’t stop my life because my best friend is gone. I’ve got to move on. I don’t mean move on as in forget. I mean I need to let myself be me again. I’ve let my tragedy stop living a life. Right now, I do the same thing every day. I did the same thing today that I did yesterday. I did the same thing yesterday that I will do tomorrow. I hate it. I hate not having purpose. Or a drive. I have never been someone to just get by. I’m ambitious. I constantly feel the need to better myself. Right now, I want to further myself I just can’t how. How do I move on? How do I let go? These are serious question I live with. I need advice. I need some sort of direction.

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