I’m pretty sure that this blog is going to sound quite selfish and morbid. I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. This might sound shocking, but I really want to go first. I don’t want to get old and see those I love leave me. I want to go first. I’m not afraid to die. I know where I’m going. I know the life that I’m living. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to die. I just can’t bear the thought of those I love leaving me. On the other hand, I never want to even think of my loved ones mourning me. Death is one of the worst parts of nature. I understand that we all go at some point, I’m just seriously terrified of it being so close to me. So afraid of facing it. Really, I’m okay with being so selfish. I just don’t ever want to handle another serious loss. I’m sorry I my blog is disturbing but I needed to get that off of my chest.