It’s over and I am completely mixed on how I feel. I feel sad because it’s 3 years of my life I will never get back. I’m happy because I think it was a long time coming and it will make both of us happier. That’s really what it’s all about. Making us happy. You can’t be with someone when you are miserable. It’s just too hard and it kills your soul. I hated walking around sad all of the time. In fairness, I am walking around sad now but I will be better with time.
I’m just surprised it’s taken this long for us to get here. I don’t think either of us have been happy in a while. We are still living together, which is seriously awkward. We are acting like we are still together but it’s obvious that we are not. I’m not sure where I am going to go or what I am going to do but I will be okay. I have no doubts about that.
I don’t want to move back in with my mother. I know I am going to end up there for at least a little while, I just don’t want to do it. Nothing against my mother, there is just way too much drama and chaos at her house and I don’t want to be apart of that. I want to get my own apartment and take care of myself. I think, financially, I can do that. I can’t afford the kind of house I’m in now but I think I can handle a 1 bedroom apartment somewhere. I just don’t know when or where to look.